Music: Falling For You - Colbie Caillat
It's been almost a week since I've been home.
Nothing's changed, really. I take the same turns to my house, see the same trees, feel the same sort of disgusting humidity.
College has been a blur. I don't think my body really realizes that I'm back in school and not on summer vacation anymore. Timetables are a mess, lecturers are nothing close to being excellent, classmates might as well be strangers.
Being home makes me feel foreign.
I feel so out of place somedays. I wander around the empty corridors of Subang Square in the mornings, just waiting for time to pass until I can get into the next class.
No, this doesn't feel like home.
I got a job at Starbucks last week. I'll start this coming Monday and hopefully by then, my time will be fully occupied, what with school and work at the same time. I think it's going to be challenging but it's something I want dive into. Set unreasonable standards for myself and striving to reach it.
There's something I can live for. I'm not sure if I have my entire life mapped out and planned, but these short-term goals will suffice to occupy my time here until I leave again.
This week I saw many familiar faces that I'm thankful for. This week also I closed the covers on a story that's been running for far too long. Everybody likes an ending, be it a good one or bad. I'm not sure what my ending is; I just know it's the end. There's no more unreturned phone calls, or pending statuses, or elusive answers. It broke my heart but my heart's been broken so many times, it didn't feel like a big deal anymore. We came to a mutual understanding.
Right now, I wish I had the company of the friends I left behind, the starry night skies and the comfort of one that can make me smile, regardless.
It's been almost a week since I've been home.
Nothing's changed, really. I take the same turns to my house, see the same trees, feel the same sort of disgusting humidity.
College has been a blur. I don't think my body really realizes that I'm back in school and not on summer vacation anymore. Timetables are a mess, lecturers are nothing close to being excellent, classmates might as well be strangers.
Being home makes me feel foreign.
I feel so out of place somedays. I wander around the empty corridors of Subang Square in the mornings, just waiting for time to pass until I can get into the next class.
No, this doesn't feel like home.
I got a job at Starbucks last week. I'll start this coming Monday and hopefully by then, my time will be fully occupied, what with school and work at the same time. I think it's going to be challenging but it's something I want dive into. Set unreasonable standards for myself and striving to reach it.
There's something I can live for. I'm not sure if I have my entire life mapped out and planned, but these short-term goals will suffice to occupy my time here until I leave again.
This week I saw many familiar faces that I'm thankful for. This week also I closed the covers on a story that's been running for far too long. Everybody likes an ending, be it a good one or bad. I'm not sure what my ending is; I just know it's the end. There's no more unreturned phone calls, or pending statuses, or elusive answers. It broke my heart but my heart's been broken so many times, it didn't feel like a big deal anymore. We came to a mutual understanding.
Right now, I wish I had the company of the friends I left behind, the starry night skies and the comfort of one that can make me smile, regardless.
Angustora Lake,
one summer evening.