Today was such a blur. Actually, it was nothing but a blur. I can barely remember details from it because it all just seemed to whiz by.
I finally went to bed at close to 4 in the morning, after much mugging. I felt like quitting halfway because there was just so much to read up on. Sometimes, I just feel like giving up entirely. But I know there's just too much at stake if I do. Giving up basically translates to letting go of everything I've ever dreamed of and envision.
Honestly, that's the only thing I'm living for right now.
Despite such a late night, I had to be up by 7 again this morning for my 8am class. So little sleep left me feeling light headed and absurdly tired. The only good thing that happened this morning is the video call with Corey, due to the time difference. Managed to squeeze in some time for him whilst putting on make up and changing :)
print screeenss
:)
:)
Honestly, it was nice getting to talk to him again and actually hearing a voice rather than just words. Plus, we had our usual arguments over the stupidest issue. This morning it was the debate over how "emo" I was. Dressed in a dark colored turtleneck and framed glasses. He was going to hand me a razor blade as a gift. Gee, that would've been nice.
The music test I studied so hard for did NOT happen this morning. I was annoyed because I inhumanly took in large amounts of caffeine for no reason now. How futile.
Still I have to start scoring my entire composition. I feel tired just thinking about it.
Work was mediocre. Smiles and waves; I think we have progress. That presence just brings me back to preadolescence. Blushes and hushed squeals. Of course, the occasional giggle? It's so immature but I like it. It feels young and fresh, just like how I once knew it.
I think it's a simple case of out of sight and out of mind. You are cold, anger-filled. Perhaps even anger-driven. It'd be better if you were just nonchalant about it. That will really tell me something. Though you can be sure that perhaps 5 years from now, I will look back and wonder what things would've been if different actions were taken. I really would do wonder.
Will the future would have held more promises? Perhaps, a tiny glimmer of hope and happiness?
I wonder.
ps: i want to laugh and talk to you, right now. please? i miss you, just so you know.
The music test I studied so hard for did NOT happen this morning. I was annoyed because I inhumanly took in large amounts of caffeine for no reason now. How futile.
Still I have to start scoring my entire composition. I feel tired just thinking about it.
Work was mediocre. Smiles and waves; I think we have progress. That presence just brings me back to preadolescence. Blushes and hushed squeals. Of course, the occasional giggle? It's so immature but I like it. It feels young and fresh, just like how I once knew it.
I think it's a simple case of out of sight and out of mind. You are cold, anger-filled. Perhaps even anger-driven. It'd be better if you were just nonchalant about it. That will really tell me something. Though you can be sure that perhaps 5 years from now, I will look back and wonder what things would've been if different actions were taken. I really would do wonder.
Will the future would have held more promises? Perhaps, a tiny glimmer of hope and happiness?
I wonder.
ps: i want to laugh and talk to you, right now. please? i miss you, just so you know.