Music: The Greatest Fall Of All Time - Matchbook Romance
Perfect.
Where I am now, thunder rumbles deep and it is dark out. The rain's not shy to shed heavy tears from the night sky, and me? I'm being a recluse, refusing words, or enthusiasm, or even the slightest form of energy.
I'm sorry.
It has always been a love hate thing between me and this town. The place where so many memories were made and also the very same place I'd wish I had the chance to have a different approach to. Tonight, I hate Klang and I just wished I was somewhere else.
You were right. All of you were.
To Chui Nee: I'm sorry for not believing in you when you told me to open my eyes and look at the bigger picture. I'm sorry for thinking that he cared, when you, all of you, could see that he never did. I'm sorry you had to see me like this for months end.
To Karyn: I'm sorry you had to put up listening to me about how terrible everything was going and knowing that you could not do anything about it because of how stubborn I was. I'm sorry for all the frustration I've caused you and the time you spent trying to make me get it. I've gotten it now. I just had to learn it the hard way.
To Kok Seng: I'm sorry for being immature about it all. But you saw how brightly I lit up when I got that call in Malacca. You've always told me to wake up and as usual, I dreamed of a greater good. And as much as I'd hate to admit this: you were right too. I've woken up.
To Cheryl: I'm sorry for all the times I answered meaningless phone calls in the middle of the night. I'm sorry for acting so embarrassingly, causing you so much trouble and disappointments as well. I'm sorry I brushed you off, thinking you didn't really care. I know you do and hey, I'm really done for good now.
To Michelle: I'm sorry for having you put up with me so many times. For you trying sooo hardd to drill it in my brain that everyone else out there was right! I know how exasperated you felt every time I came back to you with the same sadness in my eyes and the momentary pretentious realizations. I promise you, this isn't one of them again.
Hate was never in context. Anger, hurt, confusion was the mix. Disappointment came out the most. That's the hardest thing I have to grapple with right now. I gave you so much hope, I defended you so many times against everyone. And for what? Just to be brought down this way. You killed a part of me, did you know that? I used to think, why wasn't I good enough for you? What did I lack? I forced myself to succumb to anything and everything you asked me of, just to prove, just to make you think that maybe, maybe, you'd think twice about me. It doesn't work that way, does it? Sadly no.
I'm not pointing any fingers, I'm not pinning blames at all. If there's any to, it's me. I set myself up for this fall. I chose this hurt.
To the rest of you who knows what I'm talking about: I'm sorry for all the disappointment I have caused on my part towards you. I know better now.
I'm sorry.
