It is close to daybreak once again and I have been having unhealthy living habits for the past one week. Late nights, late mornings. Lack of food. Too much food.
Tonight (or day really) I type this with a jumble of feelings trapped inside me like tangled wires. I don't know how to project, much less, express how it feels. It's like a cross between weariness and despondency. I don't feel like I can do much about it, but rather, just take it in as a part of this wonderful process we call life.
Within the past week, there has been 2 funerals in my neighborhood. I often wonder how people deal with loss. It's something I struggle with until now. Though I have not lost anyone close to me yet, I can seem to sympathize with people who have. I can imagine being in their shoes and almost feeling the pain of that sudden void in their lives.
Those laughter. That voice. Gone?
It's the time of the year again where I bid my farewells. On one hand, it marks a start to something new. On another, I feel like I'm leaving a part of me behind. Fragments of my self, left in the hands of these few people I have come to share my life with. How do I say goodbye?
Dear Cheryl,
While I type this, you're probably boarding a huge Boeing to the land down under. I'll never forget the day I first met you and my stupid habit of judging a person before even knowing them.
We've gone through so many things together. I have cried in your presence, laughed, acted as stupidly as possible, and also as wise. I know you're not fond of sentimental notes like these but these are just a few things I'd like you to know if we never see each other again.
I'll always remember the night I got wasted on tequila. I saw glimpses of you coming in and out of your room trying to nurse me back to sobriety. Though my mind was fazed, I silently thanked God for having you there, bringing me water and warm towels. Ironically, they were more vivid than they should have been.
I know you don't eat potatoes. And I know your random outbursts of cartwheels on empty hallways. Your love for the Kaiser Chiefs and loathe for almost everything on the radio. You'd rather have desserts than a main course and beer over liquor.
My words cannot contain you. What can? You're free spirited. And very defiant haha. We all get so worked up by your antics sometimes but all we do is shake our heads and smile.
I miss you already. Who's gonna grab the phone away from me when I've had one to many shots of tequila in my system? Who's gonna dance with me, lecture me about my messy room, kill the cockroaches for me in Starbucks?
I really hope I get to see you again, Ah Ch'ng! :'(
Until then, have double the fun on my behalf!