Music: Bleed - Hot Chelle Rae
It's really really hard missing someone.
I'm not quite sure how I'm capable of missing you so much when I've never even had you entirely for myself. But the bits and pieces I've had the privilege of having throughout the years, the bits and pieces that string you together, forming a broken incomplete picture I put so much of my life into; those bits and pieces I miss the most.
It's odd how riveting and vivid my mind can manifest you to be. Yesterday was the first time in my life I found myself gripping the side of my sheets so tightly with tears streaming down my face but my screams were silent. It's as if someone had muffled my voice that nothing comes out even when I felt a pain so intense inside me.
I woke up 2 hours later now knowing if I was crying because of you or the life I had left behind-- the life I have now; the life I have just found.
At this juncture, I am unsure of what I want to do with myself. I've always been motivated to achieve things for myself. But what if the plans I had carefully crafted ends up not being the way it was supposed to. Is it too late to turn back and re-calculate my footsteps?
I'm always afraid to find myself frozen with the fear that you may one day, disappear.
