Music: Kiss Me Slowly - Parachute
This is the beginning of forever and I'm not sure what this is going to be.
You cannot imagine the state of my heart the day I saw you shake in your tears. I felt so helpless on my own. On one hand, I wanted to reach out to and hug you and say anything so I wouldn't have to see you like that.
But on the other, I was struggling with my own feelings and the amount of betrayal I felt. I was so angry at you. I couldn't understand how you could throw everything we've had together in one night. I couldn't understand why you would put me through that when you knew how much you meant to me; when you knew how much it would break me.
Why did you?
It's really easy to give the right answer to a situation. It's easy to just say that you should walk away when someone messes up because it's the "right" thing to do. Unfortunately though, our world rarely ever is in black and white. There are always cracks to fall through and the in between of lines to be read.
I realized how much I would miss your sunshine eyes. And your morning face. And the way you held my hand when we went on that ridiculous hike. The way you kiss the top of my head. Most of all, I will miss the person I am when I'm with you. The way you make me laugh, the way you entertain some of the dumbest questions and comments I make.
You say you want me to be happy and I am when I'm with you. I'm not ready to give it all up. Not yet.
I'm hoping you have a good summer and you will miss me just as much as I do already. I'm praying so hard that we get through this and do it all over again when we're back.
But if not, know that I had a great year with you and I'll keep our memories in a little shoebox, so that they don't go to waste.
I will miss you.
