Music: Guns & Horses - Ellie Goulding
It is finals week here at the University of Colorado at Boulder.
For some, it brings out the best in them. And then for some, the worst.
I am not sure where to place myself on that scale. I have to admit that I am not the best student on campus and neither will I be the one graduating with the perfect score. Though I have dreamed of it and believed it when I was younger. And then you grow up and you realize you can't be anything you want to be. Yes, they lied. Sorry, kids.
It's funny how hopeful you tend to be when you were younger. When the magic exists and jumping off the 15th floor wearing a red cape meant you can fly, instead of splitting your head open on a concrete floor.
I'm not sure how I digressed. I tend to do that, don't I?
Just moments ago, merely 3 feet away from me (probably even less), I saw my first drug deal. Okay, it's not such a big deal because it's just Adderrall but still! It's still scary the amount of work kids do here to stay here in school. For those of you who don't know, Adderall is the kind of drug used to treat patients with ADD or ADHD. The primary use of the drug? To help them keep focus.
I don't think I'll ever resort to that. I mean at this point, you either know it or you don't. Especially with the American education system, where half your grade has already been determined throughout your work in the semester, there's no point in slaving away during finals. But of course, tables are littered with coffee cups, chewing gum, energy drink, cigarettes, anything to keep you awake.
Tell me this doesn't scare you.
I'm feeling pretty good about this semester. I mean, I'm not making perfect grades but they are what I expect them to be with regards to the amount of work I've put in. I'm just really looking forward to taking some time off this summer to be home. I've actually had the chance to miss home and I'm grateful for it.
And yet I know I will miss Boulder.
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It's been better but that's also the millionth time I'm saying that.
I really want to have hope and I really want to trust that this will pan out well. I can't say goodbye. Not yet.
Smiles? Hopefully for a while.
