Music: Second Chance - Shinedown
I had to give a speech today, on the things that made me happy.
But currently, I doubt those things can make me feel even remotely close to being cheerful.
Is it stupid? Stressing over grades? I used to be the kind of person who said "screw education. drop out of school" But now? I'm feeling low because of it. Do people change or am I just being a hypocrite--like everyone else?
I've been living among pieces of paper and wires lately. My room is far from being visually appealing. The smell is a cross between my perfume and hair conditioner, which really can be sickening after the first half hour. It's just chaos. I nearly cut myself because I stepped on my scissors earlier on.
This silly portfolio is driving me crazy. I have until 9am to finish it. To be honest with you, I'm making good progress. Nearly 80% done with it. I'm usually proud of my work but this one really lacks...life. Is it just a total reflection of my current state?
So as I'm about to be done with it, I flip through the pages as a final run through and then it dawned on me. The formatting of the entire thing is wrong. No, I'm not kidding.
It's days like these that I swear I'm jinxed.
My lecturer is totally anal when it comes to things like these. She needs it done her way, however she calls it our portfolio. She says it's up to your creativity, however she complains when one picture slants more towards the left than to the right.
&^%$@*#$^WTF&^#%$%&$(*Z$
It's just frustrating but I'm not gonna spend the entire night re-doing something that looks perfectly fine in my eyes.
I really need to take a breather but I can't because my mind seems to be on auto overdrive. It's like I'm tied to my workload and my mind just won't unravel from it.
It's stressful, this thing they call success. Painful even.
I officially hate ringing tones and dial tones. It's sad that when I needed you most, you were not there. Makes me wonder why I needed you in the first place.
