Music: -
I feel so terribly insecure.
Last night, I thought I had all the time in the world. Last night I didn't take into account that tiredness can grow upon someone.
Browsing through, I see people who are significantly better than me. Though I cringe and scoff when I think of them, secretly, I wouldn't mind being them.
I wouldn't mind wearing a suit, carrying a leather handbag, analyzing stock markets and making the best predictions. Or standing beside prestigious surgeons deemed as gods, peering over one very complicated open heart surgery.
I am bitter. Knowing I will never be one those people who splash the newspapers with their thousand dollar scholarship. Knowing I will never walk the halls of some of the world's best educational institutions simply because I'm not that good.
I'm not smart enough. I don't know if being smart is the highest purpose in life, but it sure does play a big part. I wonder where did I go wrong growing up. Did I not practice enough Math? Read enough History? Speak enough English? Study more Biology?
I should have, right? I shouldn't have been reckless with that.
So, here I am today, settling for mediocrity.
