Late last evening, I had gotten sick of the carpeted floors and the barren furniture in my apartment. So I decided to take a long walk on to campus for the first time on my own just to see what I would run into. At the same time, I had needed to locate the University Memorial Center (UMC) because that was where I had to be for orientation today.
I pulled on some decent looking shorts, grabbed my keys, strolled out the doors and into the setting sun. I wasn't sure where I was supposed to be headed and I did not have a map with me (even if I did, it wouldn't be of much use). So I crossed road after road and light after light while staring at people on every intersection and making a mental note of every eatery, bakery, grocer I passed. These may come in handy in the future.
I eventually came to a huge stone slab pinned into the ground that bore the words UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO AT BOULDER in bold. A smile crept onto my face and I hastily crossed over to the other side of the road. My destination was not for another 15 minutes-- had I taken the right route. But as usual, I was easily distracted by the littlest thing like a fluttering butterfly and it took me another half hour to get to where I initially intended to be.
In between that and arriving at the UMC, I had taken a wrong turn and found myself in the heart of the campus. Classes had not begun and so there was barely anybody wandering the green fields or walkways of the campus. But there I was, in the middle of August, walking alone lost, exploring new territory. Contrary to popular belief, I was not scared-- not even the slightest bit. There was however a sense of amazement with the entire scene I had just stepped into.
The trees around me had branches that grew like giant umbrellas, shading the walkways between buildings. I walked along shallow running water whose origins and ends were of a mystery to me. As I walked further, the faded red brick walls of the building called out to me, urging me to just run my fingers along them and feel the rough jagged surfaces that has housed my predecessors. When I did finally give in, it felt as if I was finally part of this huge community. Like the vines that crept between the gaps of these red bricks and around old metal window cases were hands reaching out to welcome me into this new world.
1. Warm colored buildings in the between lush greens that make the campus feel so rustic.
2. Kind of like a twist in between the old and the new.
3. Old trees that have shaded so many students. Engraved in their barks are memories of millions.
4. School logo. Incorporating Greek elements.
5. Comfortably shaded walkways.
6. UMC for orientation.
7. More old buildings.
8. Are they not beautiful with those windows and bricks?
9. CU pride in rebellion. Kinda :)
Orientation kinda sucked today. Except for the fact that I met probably the coolest New York chick on the West coast. Hopefully we get to hang out despite being in different schools and majors.
That was officially Day 1 for me.
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Maybe I can't hold on to something that's barely even there. Maybe, despite my polished words and brave testimonials, I cannot live up to the things I have said or promised to do. Maybe, this isn't what I want for my life. Maybe, I deserve something better this time-- right now. Maybe I'm the one who will hurt and disappoint. Maybe you were the one who got away.
But if there are things that are certain it will be this: I've never stopped caring about you. I've never stopped loving you and I've never had the strength to ignore you when you needed someone to be there. These I can guarantee.
Despite all that, it doesn't mean I can keep pretending that I am tied to a person that's hardly ever there. Asking me to stay when your presence is almost negligible is hard. You don't try hard enough. I need more from you this time. Give me a reason to stay.
If you don't, maybe, I'll let go first.