Music: -
I never understood my father's powerful objection in sending me 14 hours behind home time to further my education or my mother's weary apprehension in doing the same thing.
They say it's too far. I say distance is a matter of perspective. They say it's too expensive. I say we can figure it out. They say the time difference is too big. I say we can compromise. They say it's hard to communicate. I say there's technology. There's the Internet.
The past week has been the roughest dip I have taken ever since coming here. Before this, I could sing of nothing but praises and beautiful words to describe the place I'm in. But right now, if I could have one single wish, I'd want to give it up and be at home.
I'm not the type person who easily gets sick. I don't even think I'm allergic to any food substance or materials or medicine. But this week, for some reason, my immune system decided to crash and before I knew it, I was curled up in layers of clothes and blankets while it was bright and sunny outside.
I figured it's just a mild case of my body going into breakdown because I've not been eating well nor have I been sleeping all that much. I'll rest for a day or two and I'll be back on my feet in no time. Get my body hydrated and it'll be gone.
The fever lasted for about 5 days and I had to skip almost all my classes because I just couldn't get my body to the bus stop and into the lecture hall. I had headaches that seared and my entire body felt like it was rammed over by an 18-wheeler. The one day I actually felt that much better to go to my school's football game, I ended up fainting right before half time (that was very embarrassing)
I literally felt like I was going to die.
Physically, I was out of it. Mentally, I had so many things swimming through my mind, from classes, to quizzes, to homework, to work, it felt equally as exhausting. Emotionally, I was empty. I didn't have anyone here with me. I didn't have my mom who would come to check on me, take my temperature and force me to drink the barley water she boiled. I didn't have her here to cook me food that would be edible enough for my body to take so that I'd have that much more energy to live of.
Ultimately, I was alone.
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Mom, I wish you were here fussing over me and making me porridge with salted eggs because I can't taste anything I eat, which makes me not want to eat at all. I wish you could be here to tell me I'll be better once I finish my entire dosage of antibiotics and you breaking the oval Panadol pill into 2 because they were too big for me to swallow. I wish you were here to call my teachers, write letters and explain to them that your daughter is sick and she will not be able to make it for classes the next couple of days.
Most of all, I just wish you could be here, sleeping next to me despite me being sick, checking up on me with every cough or every shiver I make and nursing me back to health. I miss you, mommy :(
