Music: Wolf In Sheep's Clothing - This Providence
Yesterday was quite an experience. After having such a rough time from the night before, Monday morning and classes felt like the worse thing I have to go through.
I didn't think ANYTHING could have made the day worse. But you guys know the twist to this story. There was always one more thing to top the cake, like cherry on cream.
Only this time, it was a hell rotten cherry.
If you've been reading my entries for a while, you'll know when I'm talking about that someone. Sure, I post them in vague paragraphs and disjointed words but sometimes, the gist of my emotions come out and the situation unravels. Most of the time, I'm just hurt.
For the past 2 years, I've been "in love" with him. Granted, he isn't the best looking person in the world nor was he the smartest. Definitely isn't the richest or most popular but who cares? That's how I looked at things. If I felt a genuine connection to another, these trivial material things of the world didn't matter. Because I thought, we could have created a world for ourselves and we would be "happy".
I won't deny that he hasn't made his mistakes. I think for the most part, both of us have. But remember, this story has a million and one twists to it. That's why I'm actually putting effort onto publishing it on here. So the both of us have erred but the world according to him is, his mistakes are always justified while mine...aren't.
Essentially, it was an abusive relationship. With me giving more and more, denying my morals and principles for the sake of not our happiness, but simply his. To put it simply, he was the epitome of selfishness and greed. A master of lies and fallacies, he was so good at twisting words around just to make him seem like the victim.
Yesterday, I discovered that he's been with someone else since the beginning of this year. It's the second time. The first time, he denied ever having a relationship with another girl. This time, I found the truth out from the best and most reliable source; ever.
Don't get me wrong. The point I'm making here is I loved him. Past tense. I wasn't mad when I found out. I didn't feel betrayed or heartbroken. I actually laughed in disbelief. However, there was ONE thing that pissed me off.
It's the fact that he could lie through his teeth and to my face. Oh what wonderful rhetorical skills he had, puppy dog eyes and crocodile tears. Proclaiming his sincerity and exaggerating his so called hurt when I had actually had enough of this sick dysfunctional relationship. Calling ME names when I was being honest with him.
Aaron How, this is for you, baby. You are a 21 year old college student who's failing classes every single damn semester. You're stuck back home while your brother gets to further his studies in another country (probably because he's making better grades than you are). You have no independence, why? Because none of your family members trust you. They treat you like a child because you act like one.
You use girls for sex. You don't know how to keep relationships alive. You have no real friends because you can't even keep regular friendships alive. You have no ambition and no goals in life. And even if you do, you have no motivation for them.
You're throwing everything at me, cheap shots, low blows; you're so pathetic give it a rest. You're so good at stretching the truth into sugar coated lies, everyone takes a bite. I've had enough of your games, if you're not trembling, you better be. I'm gonna show them who you really are. Still you spin a web of lies, fear, greed, lust and shame. I will be the end of you and it won't be pretty.
For so long you've held me down, but it's not gonna last cos I can see right through your beautiful lies.
I hoped you liked this little entry dedicated only to you. It's the least I can do, after EVERYTHING else you've done for me, hm? :)
I miss you too, babe. I hope you like this. With so much "love" all the way across the Pacific.
