When empty rooms mean the most to you
I wonder if I'm still that young naive little girl growing up.
They make it seem so easy on television, they make it sound so magical in books and they make it sound so real in songs. But how many times, in reality, are any of these true? I don't know.
You hear about it all the time, you see it. You see these incredible relationships that form and last and you get so trapped in them, caught up with the wonder of it all and convinced that it exists. That the books, the songs and the movies aren't just fictional outcomes of another broken human being.
But you turn around to the people close to you and you realize they don't have it. Where's that magical spark everyone around you talks about? I don't see it. I see lost souls, searching and searching for answers but never getting close to any. I see despondency in darkened eyes and every once in a while, they break down and give up and I don't blame them.
I used to think it was easy. It was natural. Mom and dad fell in love and lived happily ever after. Isn't that how the equation is supposed to work?
No. I like you and you like me but you can't be with me because you're scared. Or because, the timing isn't right. Or my pet dog just died and I'm taking the time to grieve, so being in a relationship right now just doesn't seem responsible. Or maybe, I really like you but I like her ass too, so being with you will automatically not entitle me to anyone else's ass but yours (your ass is good but hers is phenomenal!)
I'm just so sick of being in the complexity of it all. When did something so natural turn into an art? The art of flirting, the art of dating. All these rules, playing coy, being an asshole makes you an alpha male, which makes you that much more desirable in bed.
Just fucking quit it. How does waiting 3 days before calling me make you seem less desperate. What's wrong with being desperate? What's wrong with showing that much more interest and initiative? What's wrong with trying too hard?! Some people don't even try anymore.
It's all evolved into a game.
And don't you realize that in a game there's always going to be a winner; and a loser.