I am about a week away from my second semester finals and I have no motivation or drive to even try this time. I wonder if I have lost myself and all that ambition I used to have as a naive little girl.
Growing up takes a lot out of you. Suddenly worries you used deem unfathomable become your closest reality and you wake up to struggles that you are convinced are not meant to be yours. Ever.
I haven't been sleeping in my own bed for days now. I wonder if I will ever make a home anywhere. I can't stand the thought of being in one place for too long. I constantly want change because I get sick of things so easily. I want to never stop meeting people, I want to never stop hearing a new language, waking up different blue skies. Give me changes in altitudes, landscapes, horizons.
It's funny this position I'm in right now. No, not really. It's essentially the same exact position I was in, just in a different time and a different place but the same hurt.
I don't think I'll ever get over the things you've done to me. Maybe I'm just settling right now because that's what I always do. I just kind of...accept it. Maybe I don't deserve that much better.
Always not cutting it.