I just wanted you to know that I want to put effort into us because I know nothing good comes easy.
I'm sorry if I haven't been living up to your expectations thus far.
Maybe we have been broken since the beginning and no matter how hard we try, we can't ever conceal the cracks, can we?
I have to admit that I am way too scarred to even try to believe in anything hopeful anymore. I appreciate your genuine intentions but I can't afford to be naive. I know what it's like to be in that dark dark ditch all by yourself and it took me the longest time to climb out of it. I can't be in there again. I just can't.
I'm starting to wonder if I made the same mistake of believing your words that evening in your apartment. You were so convincing and I was too caring. That has been my only vice. I've always cared too much for anyone and anything that crossed my path.
Sometimes I admire people who can walk away without feeling emotionally affected at all. I've tried but I've never been able to bring myself to entirely do it.
Well I guess now's a good time to start isn't it?
Maybe I shouldn't wait for you to walk way completely. Maybe I'm just tired and I want to leave entirely. Maybe I'm just hurt enough to say that I don't wanna cry or try anymore.
I just want to apologize that I didn't make your cut and I just wanted to tell you that I've tried really hard but maybe we both deserve something else other than each other.
EDIT:
Sounds like the most self-destructive thing ever.
Doing it.