Music: I Love You This Big - Scotty McCreery
So...dilemma.
I don't wanna fall in love.
And no, it's not too late for me to say that. And um no, I guess I don't really know what I want. It's not a surprise. I guess deep down, somewhere, I kinda knew that too but I've just chosen to ignore it.
Why did I do that?! The question that chews away at my sanity. WHAT AM I TRYING TO PROVE? Another self-detrimental question.
God, I'm just such a mess, aren't I?
I've accepted the fact that I'll never be happy and at peace with what I have. I will die...empty. But it will be okay because somehow I am more at peace with that than I am confident about finding something permanent, real and secure.
Hello, trust issues. You have decided to take control of my blog post, haven't you? Well, that's okay. I deal with you most of the time in my head anyway.
Well, there you have it. The sum of my entire life. In 10 years time, at this exact moment and time, I will be sitting in a gorgeous apartment in a big city somewhere, sipping on red wine, watching a re-run of a popular tv show then. I will be sitting in a bath robe and comfy bedroom slippers and it will just be me and my lab dog named Max. Yep, Max. That's what I'm calling him. And yep, it has to be a boy. He will be my snuggle bud on our luxurious velvet red couch.
That's the extent that true love will be for me. Wine, a pup and the best couch in the world. I think I can live with that.
