Well hi.
It's so easy to be under the impression that things have changed and that maybe for once, things are looking up for you.
You walk out the front door feeling like a million dollars and then you step in a puddle of water. Or your bag breaks and that annoying, crushing feeling of disappointment washes over you. You might as well jump of a cliff.
I don't know if I have been sacrificing the right things for the right person. I don't even know if the right person is the right person. Or if the right things are really right things.
I just love mindfucking myself.
I have been settling into this new phase of my life rather nicely. For the most part. There are times though where I catch my mind freaking out and wondering if I made the right decision.
This will always be our problem, won't it? Me, constantly not living up to your expectations. It doesn't matter how hard I try or how many goals I meet. There will always be new goals. New ways for me to better suit you, as if the person I am right now is a lump of ugly clay that you have to mold to make something beautiful, or even acceptable, out of.
I love you and love will just eventually tear us apart.