I'm on top of the worldddddd.
I am and I've never felt like this in a while. I've forgotten how exciting and rejuvenating it can feel. Like a breath of fresh air and a boost of enthusiasm. It feels amazing.
Things have been picking up since the break-up. I have to admit, I had one of those "what if's" moment the other day and a "remember when" night where I just let myself think and my thoughts trail. It was one of the worst nights of the week and I have to consciously remind myself not to do that.
It was one of the nights where I was up half the night from drinking so much caffeine and then I spent the other half exhausted but unable to sleep due to all that caffeine. Drifting in and out of consciousness and hearing my heart in my ears, I had vivid dreams where I was helpless. It was scary because I heard myself scream and plead but all I saw was him in front of me and that other girl.
I'm the forgotten girl.
But, like I said, memories fade and burn into nothing given a good amount of time. If you asked me now, I'd say I can barely remember the sound of his laughter much less his scent. I don't remember exactly the color of his eyes or the way his hands felt in mine.
It's not like they matter that much anymore.
So. My life right now revolves around writing (ha-ha didn't see that one coming), the sorority (at least trying to keep up with it!) and work (starting tomorrow!). I'm really trying to put it all together, especially when it comes to school. I think I've given myself enough time to be dumb and young and I'm just gonna find my way to be happy.
Pictures from the past couple of weeks! And all the people I've had the greatest pleasure and enjoyment spending time with :)
This was Saturday brunch with some of the girls from my sorority.
Note: Saturday morning after a belligerent night and we still looked good.
Props.
Game day against our rival team, Colorado State.
The only game we've won so far, sigh.
My beautiful friend, Abbi Nelson and also bar buddy.
She has seen me...places, needless to say.
ROOMMATE
Some of the decisions we make our very questionable.
More me than him really.
Don't judge.
Big smiles for pre-gaming!
At our latest house party.
It was such a blast!
Now, if only I could remember it.
It goes 1, 2, 3 shots and a sprint onto the balcony to shotgun a beer.
Yeah buddy.
Study sessions with Katie and Briana.
These girls know how to throw it down with the books.
It's getting cold in Boulder and I'm more than happy to snuggle into warm clothes.
We're classy.
I promise.
Right now, I'm looking forward to having more pictures like these taken. Genuine times with genuine people and not having to put false pretenses about anything at all.
I'm at a good spot right now and though sometimes I wish he would be in my pictures, I have to remember I never had that relationship with him.
Though it's sad to admit it's still awfully true. I knew he loved me just...not enough.