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Friday, September 2, 2011

Now You're Just Someone I Used To Know

Music: Remind Me - Brad Paisley ft. Carrie Underwood

Day 3 and my insides feel numb. 

I've exhausted all my tears and all my pleas. 

You're just another stranger in the crowd now. I can't believe I have to go through this all over again and the funny thing is, no matter how many time I go through it, the pain doesn't hurt any lesser. 

It's like tearing up old scars. 

I feel broken and defeated inside. I feel helpless.

You were once the anchor that held down and grounded me into things that were good. Like love and hope; faith and happiness. And now that you're gone, I'm afloat in the vast ocean, turning and tossing with the waves, with no direction.

I am a train wreck. I fake my smiles and drink to mask the pain. It's destructive because I can't remember the last time I actually ate something solid.

My entire week has been reduced to me, living inside my own little bubble, with no sense of the real world at all. I am not this girl at all. I am not one to wallow and be pathetic but this right here, hurts so much that I wake up only to want to crawl back into bed again.

You say that in the short-term this will be hard. But what if I never forget you? What if inside I'll always love you and miss you? I'm banking on time and I'm banking so hard that it will carry me out of this.