Music: You Found Me - The Fray
Bad decisions happen to me almost on a weekly basis. Usually around midnight of weekends, sometimes later than that.
I've been doing so much better in the past month and I almost feel like the things that used to matter so much in my life, don't anymore. I still have his shirts and his notes and I couldn't look at them for the longest time but now I'm wearing them whenever I forget to do laundry and run out of clean clothes to sleep in.
I was struggling to find myself when I came here. I thought a new life and a new place would give me perspective and maturity. It's funny though because looking back on it now, I feel like I've lost myself more than anything else.
I want to say that my relationship with Brian, whatever it was, destroyed me but it really didn't. It did however, reduce me to pieces but picking them up this time isn't as hard as they were in the past.
I've been thinking about Aaron and my "relationship" with him in the past and I'm surprised that I'm not angry or bitter or even laced with any form of regret.
And so today, I want to introduce C.
I have no idea what to make of C or if I even should make anything of him but I can't lie and say that I don't particularly enjoy our conversations. Granted, we've never spent time alone together other than working on a group project together but we've had some late nights over social media. Kinda.
I'm just trying so hard to not make this a rebound or a poor excuse for company. I really think it's not.
I don't know what this is yet and for once, maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it's a good thing that I don't label everything in my life. I mean, I know how to draw lines and set up boundaries now. That's progress, right?
I started out this post with full intentions of making it sound coherent, structured and convincing but now, I'm kinda in pieces.
Kind of confused but kind of happy and kind of liking it.
