A random afternoon
There were many things I didn't understand and actually hated about you.
I didn't like how you'd leave the television turned on before going to bed and then actually falling asleep to a running tv show. I remember waking up at like 5 in the morning because of it and feeling so annoyed for having to crawl out of bed to turn it off.
I think you have a really ugly backpack and you look a hundred million times better when you're actually wearing real clothes. Like flannel or a t-shirt.
I don't know why my thought process led me here today. Now that we're on break, it just means that I have a lot more time to myself, which translates to me having more time to think of things.
The same time one year ago, I was getting ready to experience my first Thanksgiving with a family friend in Indiana. I remember getting you clay Greek alphabets for your fraternity and painting them blue because they were your colors.
I thought me joining the Greek system would bring us closer together, you know? We'd have one more thing we could do together. Reflecting on it now, I realize it's actually been one of the reasons that tore us apart.
It's kinda scary that a lot of things still remain very vivid to me.
I'll always remember that afternoon in your apartment in late spring when I was both disappointed and devastated by what I had found out.
I remember trying to give you one last hug before walking out down. I stepped in and wrapped my arms around you and lingered a little longer knowing that I'd never had the chance to hug you again once I stepped out of it.
Right before I wanted to leave, you broke down, bit your fists in attempts to stop the tears and said to me, "This is so hard because I know you'll never come back."
I guess in many ways you were right. I've been trying to muster up the strength the entire semester to walk away from the wreck we've turned into. Love can only save so much.
I met a boy and he's nice. He's not you and it's definitely not the same but we're talking and trying to figure things out. Maybe we'll get someplace in the future, maybe we won't but for now, he makes me laugh and I guess that's enough.