Music: Help I'm Alive - Metric
You wanna know why you can't talk to me? Wanna know why you can't answer my calls? Wanna know why you can't text me back?
It's because you still fucking feel it in you.
It's because you can't ignore that blatant slap in the face when we're sitting across from each other and you're thrown into that safe sense of familiarity. Because you know the way I laugh and you know the tone of your voice you use with me.
It's because you know me too. And you know the answers to my questions before I even ask them. Because you remember every single memory that I am holding on to. Because you know exactly what I'm talking about when I say you eat all the popcorn during a movie. You know precisely what I'm referring to when I ask you if your back hurts. And when I was hunched down, on my knees, constantly talking to you about the things we shared just to make sure you'd still breath and wouldn't pass out cold on me, you responded to all of it. You knew exactly what I was talking about.
They were as real to you as they were to me.
And if they are not, then I dare you to say it to my face. Stare me down with your eyes and say it. If you had the courage and conviction that the truth today is contrary to what I have just written, then say it to me, so coldly that it will rip my insides to shreds.
Tell me I'm delusional and insane for even trying to imagine things being like this. Instead of cowering in your bulletproof house, come up to me and serve it to me harshly. Say exactly what you feel without having the unnecessary use of any kind of euphemism.
That's pathetic and I'd rather get the real deal than some softened up excuse.
Hand it to me as coldly and as painfully as you can, and I assure you, I will walk away without looking back. I will back off without a fight and I will be out of your life before you can even count til 3.
That's a promise I'm making to you and to me.
